


Idiot

by g_rose_t



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, But mostly angst, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 06:58:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7424620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/g_rose_t/pseuds/g_rose_t
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he landed next to Clint, he pulled his lover into a hug, “Just jump off the fucking skyscraper, no warning, you idiot,” he grumbled causing Clint to chuckle.</p><p>    “But I’m your idiot,” Clint smirked back.</p><p>    “Shut up.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Idiot

    He stared straight ahead, at the vast city in front of him, yet at nothing at all. The busy streets, people on the corners, parents trying to corral their children all went unnoticed by his eye. No, instead his heartbeat thudded in his head, fast, loud, too much for him to handle, yet the only thing he could pay attention to. His eyes saw nothing, they stared straight ahead, but his didn’t see anything, no instead he’s mind took over projecting thoughts, visions really, that slow incorporate themselves into his eye sight. The thoughts enforcing false context into his head, making him believe what he saw no matter how wrong it may be, it made the overwhelming feeling rise, it made his soul curl up and cry, but most importantly it made him lose himself with every passing second.

    So, there he sat staring at absolutely nothing, but feeling absolutely everything. While leaning against his door stood one of the few people who absolutely adored him, tears streaming down their face. The sight of him completely lost to the world, the inner demon eating him from the inside out, devouring his happiness, was utterly heart breaking.

    “James?” The lover called out, but was met with silence.

    “Bucky?”

    “Love?”

    Silence that’s all Clint got in response, but he accepts that, he doesn’t push any further. If he were in Bucky’s situation, which he has dabbled in before just not as extensive as his partner, he wouldn’t want to be pushed so he respects Bucky and let’s him figure himself out and if Bucky needs someone, Clint will be there no matter how long it takes or where ever he may be, he is ready, waiting, for when Bucky needs him.

    Pushing off from his place against the door frame, Clint backs out of the room and heads down the hallway. Entering the elevator he asks FRIDAY to take him to the shooting range while facing the inside wall, unaware of the ex-assassin heading his way. Right as the doors are about to close a firm metal hand stopped them, causing Clint to turn around his breath getting stuck in his throat. There stood Bucky, tears overflowing in his eyes making salty streams down his pale scruffy face, hair was astray, messy and untamed, but he was still the most beautiful man in the world to Clint.

    “Hey babe-” Clint started, testing his grounds.

    “I-I need you,” Bucky rasped out choking on his own words, but not a second goes by before Clint envelops Bucky into his embrace, dragging the ex-soldier into the elevator.

    Clint pulled away just enough space to press his lips against Bucky’s, ruff met soft, dry met wet. Clint withdrew from the kiss, but looked Bucky straight in the eyes while he spoke, “On second thought FRIDAY, take us to the roof,” before he locked his lips back onto Bucky’s.

    “Sir, we’ve arrived at the roof,” the AI spoke up, causing the couple to reluctantly separate.

    Clint grabbed both of Bucky’s hands and dragged him out of the elevator and across the roof. He then let go of Bucky and jumped off the edge, panic set over in Bucky’s body and he ran to the edge. When he looked down he saw Clint standing on the avenger tower “A”, and the panic left his body.

    “Don’t just stand there! Jump!” Clint hollered at him, smiling as if he didn’t just randomly jump off the side of a skyscraper.

    “Just jump off the side of a building, don’t worry you could only die,” Bucky mumbled under his breath, but nonetheless he jumped. When he landed next to Clint, he pulled his lover into a hug, “Just jump off the fucking skyscraper, no warning, you idiot,” he grumbled causing Clint to chuckle.

    “But I’m your idiot,” Clint smirked back.

    “Shut up.”

    “Plus I’ve got to bring some excitement into your life,” Clint said and pecked Bucky’s pouting lips, before he plopped down on top of the “A”, and was soon followed by the other man.

    “Please, like my life isn’t exciting enough. I mean I’ve lived in the 1940’s, died, been brainwashed, forced into an assassin, been Hydra’s secret weapon, escaped from Hydra, been on the run, supposedly died again, finally found a home for myself, not to mention I fell in love with you, trust me I’ve my fair share of excitement,” Bucky started listing off.

    “You make it seem like falling in love with me is a bad thing.”

    “Haven’t decided yet,” Bucky smirked as Clint whipped him head to look at the man next to him, a face of pure hurt and pain evident on his cute face.

    “Well if that’s how you feel then-” Clint started but was cut off with lips being placed over his.

    Bucky pulled back but kept their foreheads pressed together, “You’re an idiot,” he pecked Clint, “But you’re _my_ idiot.”

    “You bet your ass I am.”

    “You know I was serious right?”

    “About me being your idiot? Yeah, we’ve determined I am an idiot.”

    “Yes, but no. I mean that I need you, I was serious I need you,” Bucky spoke with his insecurities on full display.

    “And that doesn’t make you weak, not in the slightest bit. Because guess what James, I need you too,” Clint spoke looking straight into the soldier's eyes, “How do you think I found this place? It was a couple months after Loki, the tower was brand new, the city was cleaned up and running again. Tony had me come to the tower to do some tests, see how Loki affected me, and I sat with him poking and probing at me for hours, until he finally gave up and started to inspect Loki’s scepter on the screen in front of him. The voice, his voice, in my head got to be too much for me, and I ran. I somehow ended up on the roof in my clouded state, and before I knew it I was standing on the edge peering down at the world. I stood there for a moment, not contemplating killing myself, no contemplating letting myself live, letting _him_ live in my mind. And then I knew if he was in there, no one was safe, not with me for any part. So, I stepped off and fell for a solid second before I landed right here, there’s a dent right where I’m sitting where I made impact, I broke my left leg and fractured a couple of ribs. I sat here, crying, for hours before Tony found me, thanks to some help from civilians on the street. When they brought me inside I refused help for days, before Natasha dragged me into Banner’s lab, I refused to talk for months, to eat for weeks at a time, I refused company for almost a year. And then Steve and Sam brought this lost puppy, this adorable scruffy puppy, that dug it’s way into my heart. The first person I talked to after I tried to kill myself was you, Buck,” Clint said with unshed tear in his eyes.

    “Is that why Nat glared at me for almost three months after I came here?”

    “Maybe…”

    “Damn. Well,” Bucky said looking directly into Clint’s eyes, “I’m glad you’re alive, and I’m so fucking glad this obnoxious ‘A’ is here, because otherwise I’d be lost and alone. I love you, Clint Barton.”

    “And I love you, James Buchanan Barnes.”

    The couple then kissed and let silence overtake them, letting their individual thoughts take a hold of them. But, after about an hour of silence Bucky spoke up, “Clint Barnes has a nice ring to it.”

    “Only if you have a ring to put on it,” Clint replied holding up his hand.

    “Looks like it’ll have to wait for another day.”

    “Guess it’s going to be James Buchanan Barton then,” Clint said and slipped a ring into Bucky’s palm.

    “What you didn’t see that coming,” an annoying Slovakian voice called from above them, but when Bucky looked up all he saw was a blue blur.

    “Fucking punk,” he muttered under his breath.


End file.
